A Geek With Guns

Views from a geek gun nut

Building a “Green” House

Anybody who reads what I post was probably struck with a bit of worry upon reading the title. Don’t worry I haven’t jumped on the green movement bandwagon I still drive a horribly fuel inefficient truck (take that hippie scum!), have two computers running 24/7, run my air conditioners even while I’m away (sure I turn them up but that’s to save me money not the Earth), and believe if you’re eating more vegetable matter than meat you’re doing it wrong.

With that said I did find an interesting article by Scott Adams (the guy who does the Dilbert comic) about building a green home. I found it interesting because Mr. Adams is capable of cognitive thought and realizes there is a trade off between green and ascetically pleasing. He also is able to bring up the fact that bike riding hippies are hypocrites:

The greenest home is the one you don’t build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that’s already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don’t want. Don’t brag to me about riding your bicycle to work; a lot of energy went into building that bicycle. Stop being a hypocrite like me.

He also has a useful definition of the term green:

I prefer a more pragmatic definition of green. I think of it as living the life you want, with as much Earth-wise efficiency as your time and budget reasonably allow. Now back to our story.

I wish more hippie scum would understand the fact that their green lifestyle is OK for them because they’re hippies and don’t have jobs. Those of us who have jobs can’t pick and chose what devices we want (for instance if I can’t use a computer I don’t have a job). I like Mr. Adam’s definition of green because it’s pragmatic and I can still ignore it and thus piss the hippies off.

Alas this was the thing that really caught my attention:

As a rule, the greener the home, the uglier it will be. I went into the process thinking that green homes were ugly because hippies have bad taste. That turns out to be nothing but a coincidence. The problem is deeper. For example, the greenest sort of roof in a warm climate would be white to reflect the sun. If you want a beautiful home, a white roof won’t get you there. Sure, you could put a lovely garden on your roof, because you heard someone did that. But don’t try telling me a garden roof wouldn’t be a maintenance nightmare. And where do you find the expert who knows how to do that sort of thing?

Ding, ding, ding. I’ve always through greener labeled homes, cars, etc. were ugly as sin. Take the Toyota Prius, it’s an ugly piece of shit. It seemed purpose designed to look as much like ass as possible without it being an actual ass. There is no character to it at all, it extrudes ugly wherever it rolls. You want an awesome looking modern car? Get a new Ford Mustang or Dodge Charger. Both look and drive bad ass. They’re also about as green as the color brown. Green homes are ugly as sin as well. I’d rather spend my money on a nice looking home and deal with the slightly higher energy bill. What’s the point in going home to a domicile that you can’t stand the look of?

This whole concept of being green is one thing. I’m green so far as saving myself money. In other words I don’t turn the air conditioner down when I’m out to save the planet, fuck that. The only reason that thing gets turned down is because it’s a power hog that costs me money the more it runs. Unfortunately for hippies I’m not so cheap as to make my life something they would approve of. I’m willing to spend extra money on gas just to piss off the green group simply because I don’t like them. Why don’t I like them? Because 99% of them try to force their lifestyle and belief upon you while regarding themselves as better people because their “saving the planet.” If more of these hippies would explain things such as Mr. Adams does in the linked article I probably wouldn’t invest time into pissing them off.

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Written by Christopher Burg

August 24, 2010 at 10:00 am

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